Always
by Mumei no namae
Summary: Misaki and Usagi have split up, only Usagi wants to get back together. Is he too late, or will they have a happy ending? Fluff, not a true death-fic.
1. Chapter 1

_For my dearest Misaki,_

_I know it's been a while and for that I am truly sorry. I know you said I shouldn't contact you after what happened between us, but the time we've spent apart made me realise just how much of a mistake I made letting you go._

_I know we've here a few times before, and without you I'm quite aware that I'm dying._

_'I love you' is simply just not enough any more._

_When you said goodbye I couldn't look you in the eyes, not when your hands were shaking so much; with hatred, anger, pain or sadness I do not know, maybe all you were feeling all of them._

_I wish so much for you to still be here, to let me hold you, touch you, feel you, taste you, always. But you're not, and that brings me much more pain than I could have ever imagined._

_I do hope that you're keeping yourself well, if you need any help I am always here and willing to give you anything._

_But for my apology to be sincere, you have to understand where you went wrong. And if you'd have me, I'll take you back. Here I am, trying. You know better than anyone that my apologises need work, even though this is the fifth draft of this letter. I just can't seem to get it write, even though writing is the only thing I'm good at._

_I suppose what I miss the most is your laugh, your smile. They were the most brightest and most beautiful things I have ever had the pleasure to gaze my eyes upon. You may not have realised, but the times when I made you smile are the times I will forever treasure in my heart and your laughter has been burnt into my soul since the first time I heard it._

_To be completely truthful with you, I was sick of all the fights. I hated them. I just want us to start over, for real this time. Completely honest with everyone, your brother knows everything and we can tell the people who read my novels. If people don't like who I love, then they don't matter to me._

_When you receive this letter, I want you to do something simple. If not for me, then for the love you used to have for me, because I know you loved me even if you were too embarrassed to say it._

_I want you to go to the window in your bedroom of your new apartment, and look down onto the street below. That's easy enough, after that you can do as you wish and I will stick to my promise of never contacting you._

_You will always be my everything, my dearest, sweetest Misaki._

_Forever yours,_

_Usagi-san._

Misaki screwed the letter up, threw it in the bin and walked over to the sofa and collapsed on to it. He tried forgetting about the letter, but the last part kept floating around in his head. Finally, he got up and walked through to his bedroom. He already knew what he was going to see, or at least he had a pretty good idea of what it was.

He had his window open, so he heard the sirens outside. It was nothing new though, he lived in the centre of a busy city and sirens could be heard all the time.

But when he reached the window he saw something that made his heart drop, stomach churn and head spin. It was all too fast for him and before he knew it the ambulance was speeding off to the nearest hospital.

He could already tell that the person who was in there wouldn't make it, and what made it worse was that it was Usagi in the back of that ambulance.

He felt the tears fall down his face and went into the kitchen and grabbed the letter out of the bin, mentally thanking himself that he took the trash out earlier that morning so the bin was empty apart from the letter.

He arrived at the hospital and told the receptionist who he was there to see, the look on here face told him everything he needed to know. He was too late. She told him where to go, and he tried to remember the directions the best he could.

Once he found the room, all he saw was the bed with a white sheet covering the body, his body.

Misaki felt his knees shake as he made his way over to the bed.

He knew better than to pull back the sheets, he had seen Usagi as he was being put into the back of the ambulance. He wanted to at least remember him how he looked before, his silver hair always perfect and his lavender eyes with that lust filled gaze always looking at him.

He wanted to remember his cold hands just how they were, with that underlying warmth to them, not hands that felt like stones with no life to them at all.

He sank down into the chair next to the bed and looked down at the letter still in his hands.

Re-reading the letter he realised that no matter how hard he has tried to, he was still hopelessly and madly in love with Usagi. And he hated how he realised it all too late.

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><p><strong>If you couldn't tell this was loosely based on some of the lyrics out of 'Always' by Blink-182.<strong>

**Hope you enjoyed reading it. It ended completely different to how I thought it would, there was so many different scenarios I could have ended it with but I thought that ending it there was best.**

**Reviews and criticism are welcomed and wanted. :)**


	2. Chapter 2

The sky was dull, and the clouds were about to burst. Misaki couldn't help but think that the weather matched the scenario plenty.

Today was the day of the funeral. Usami Akihiko's funeral to be exact. But for Misaki, today was the he said goodbye to his first and only love forever.

He began to think back to everything that happened between the couple, from the smallest of moments to the ones that made a drastic change in both of their lives.

The ones that stuck out most for him right now was the day he met Usagi, the day he first said Usagi told him he loved him, the time he told Usagi he loved him back (without the 'maybe' or 'I think' following it), the day he left Usagi and finally the day Usagi left him.

He thought back to how if only he was more reasonable and stopped trying to act mature, to just accept things how they were. That if only he realised sooner that he loved Usagi with everything he knew, maybe he and Usagi would still be together. Or at least Usagi wouldn't be currently being hoisted into the ground soon to be covered with dirt and artificial grass.

He thought about what started their fight that night, how he shouted at Usagi for telling Takahiro about them being together. Then he thought about how Usagi had calmly asked him if he was ashamed or embarrassed to be with him, how Misaki was too shocked to answer and Usagi took it the wrong way. He suddenly hated how at the times when he needed to the most, he couldn't say what he truly felt.

If only he was more open with his love for Usagi, if only he could have talked to him more. Misaki hated how everything he was thinking right now were 'what ifs' and nothing was about what actually happened.

He needed to stop with the wishing and face reality.

Usagi had told Takahiro about their relationship and Misaki didn't like it. He had started the argument, which lead to them breaking up, and it wasn't until a few weeks after they had split had he learnt that Usagi was just confirming the suspicions Takahiro had. How his brother had actually known, on some level, about them from the very start.

Misaki knew that he could have gone back to Usagi, apologise and they would have probably made up and everything would be as it was before.

He looked over to his brother, and saw that the shine that he had always had in his eyes was gone. He remembered the last time he looked so distraught, and that was at their parents funeral. He couldn't help but feel guilty for his brothers pain, he did inadvertently cause Usagi's death.

Usagi's death, another fact that he needed to come to peace with.

Misaki couldn't help but think that the whole thing felt like something you read out of a book.

He remembered looking out of the window and he saw the ambulance's, lights and sirens blazing. He remembered seeing the paramedics carrying the stretcher into the ambulance and the crushed body laying upon it.

He thought about the stone that surrounded the people gathered on the street and path.

Misaki let out a bitter laugh at the irony of it all, Usagi was crushed by a falling gargoyle and with it his own heart felt as though it had been crushed.

The people around the boy just glanced at him out of the corner of their eyes, not wanting to look at the person who actually dared laugh at the great Lord Usami's funeral. They didn't know of the whole situation, they just thought that he was a fan who swindled his way passed the security Fuyuhiko had to hire to protect the sanctity of the day.

When the end of the service came to, everyone started to file out of the cemetery. Takahiro saw that his brother wasn't moving, and walked over to him.

Only when he placed a hand on Misaki's shoulder, the boy collapsed sobbing into his hands and Takahiro thought that he had broken his little brother. Kneeling down beside him, he went to place his hand back on his shoulder but Misaki just flinched, not wanting anyone to touch in the state he was in.

Sighing, Takahiro told him that his home will always be Misaki's home and that he was welcome to stay any time. The boy had already refused the same offer on multiple occasions since Usagi had passed, and this time was no different. Manami and Mahiro were already waiting by their car, so Takahiro said his goodbyes and left.

And so Misaki was alone. Some part of him was glad that he was left to cry beside Usagi's grave in peace, but the other part had him wishing again.

Wishing that Usagi was there with him, holding him and touching him in the way that only Usagi knew. He closed his eyes and rested his head again the cold, hard stone and cried until he felt his eyes grow heavy.

He was lingering between the land of dreams and consciousness, and something felt familiar.

Misaki heard a soft purring in his ear, a warm breeze softly brushing his hair. Soon the purring formed words, one word to be exact.

_Misaki_

He kept hearing his name being called, the voice sounded smooth and it made him feel comfortable. Something else began to brush his hair, something cold yet warm at the same time. His eyes began to twitch, not wanting to wake up just yet. Until the warm and the touching went away. The voice finally stopped as well, only then did he open his eyes.

There was a soft glow coming from behind him and he felt as though something was missing from his side. Once his eyes regained focus he realised that he was in his room, or rather Usagi's room.

He felt as though it had be years since he was there. And then it hit him.

How did he get inside Usagi's room?

The door creaked open, and in walked Usagi with a glass if milk. The elder man saw that the boy was awake, and sent him a gentle smile before sitting down beside him.

"Care to tell me what your dream was about? You did kept calling out my name." Passing the glass to Misaki, Usagi looked at the boys tear stained cheeks and he felt the need to wrap him up in his arms. The only thing stopping him was that he felt that if he did so, the boy would crumble and break in to tiny fragile pieces.

So he waited for Misaki to finish the milk he had gotten for him, he had learnt that he always like to have a glass of milk once he had awoken from a nightmare. He never understood why, but always complied with the boys wishes.

Misaki just stared at the man in front of him in awe. Once he had finished sipping his milk, he place the glass on the table behind him, almost missing because he refused to take his eyes off Usagi in fear of him disappearing.

And then he did the only thing he knew, Misaki dove onto Usagi, burying his face in the man's chest, "I love you Usagi-san."

Usagi smiled and put his arms around the boy, revelling in the feeling of holding him. "No 'maybe''s or 'I think''s?"

Misaki froze, finally though, he looked up. Eyes wide, a small smile gracing his lips, "Nope."

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><p><strong>Surprise final chapter. This was going to be a one-shot, but I decided to turn it into a two-shot.<strong>

**Thank Booboobitxh666 for this chapter by the way ^_^**

**And so, reviews and criticism is still welcome. :)**


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